Giving Thanks 2010

Thanksgiving

Another year, another try at re-creating mom's dressing...coming close at times but never quite right! Probably because my family turns up their noses at the thought of putting the giblets in! Other than the menu (including the freshly ground cranberry/orange/apple/walnut relish) not much about our celebrations mirror my childhood recollections of turkey dinner with Grandma.

To fill the void of extended family (and Molly) we once again invited a random collection of friends & strangers. One teacher, one American family, one Thai student, one teacher, and 10 soldiers from ArifJon base converged at our house on an ordinary work day for most. We really wanted to make this special for the soldiers who never get the change to leave their sandy prison; one young girl had never been off base since arriving 2 months ago. For this reason, we put together a scavenger hunt that would allow them to get a glimpse of at least our neighborhood. While I carved the turkey, we sent them out in teams, led by one of our teenagers. They had to:

find 3 mosques

locate the "spy palm tree"

get a photo with a boy named Mohammad or Ali

photograph 3 stray cats in one picture

buy something at the local grocery shop they had never tried

find a flier in Arabic

bring back a napkin from Papa John's

find an African embassy

get a photo of a hummer

find a house with blue windows

and more I can't remember!

The initially quiet soldiers were soon chatting away & laughing about their scavenger experiences, sharing photos, and singing along with all the Karaoke contestants. We had dinner in two long rows in our dining room served family style. The questions on things and people we are thankful for were distributed to each plate and everyone participated in sharing. Robert included the usual serviceman's prayer when he blessed the food and couldn't get through it without choking up. The Colonel read Psalm 111 in The Message and we all sang "Great is Thy Faithfulness."

Listening to their stories of family & deployments, I noticed that they did not seem to consider that they were making a sacrifice to serve. It was an accepted way of life. Unlike my Filipino friends, they knew this was temporary and kept their eye on the future. They work 12 hour shifts with very little time off yet had little in the way of complaints.

I had neatly stacked all the rugs into the corner of my "warehouse" where they hung out & played ping pong. A few of the noticed and started asking questions. They wanted to see the rugs and hear about the maids. Before leaving they had purchased about 575 US dollars worth of rugs! Their excitement over Trash to Treasure was very touching. They could be so pre-occupied with their challenges, they would not have time to consider another's...but that was not the case.

From 3pm till after 10 when they were collected in a black convoy of armored vehicles, we sang and dined and laughed and had the best time with this great bunch of guys & gals from all over the USA. I'm so thankful for our military & the great caliber of people from enlisted to high ranking who serve our country. I'm so thankful Robert filled out all the documents & jumped through all the security hoops to allow them permission to be escorted to our house for this celebration.

The Trashion Show

November 12, 2010

Lights: check...they were assembled hours before the show and are now hot on the red carpet catwalk. Camera: the videographer is in place, cameras all over the ballroom are snapping away. Action...........that will have to wait until the VIP guests arrive, 5, 10, 20 minutes late; now they want to browse the rugs & displays in the back before being seated says the Philippine Labor Attache's wife! Our poor models were all standing at attention in paper and plastic dresses, unable to sit lest they dent their gown or worse, rip the skirt from the waist! Emily said that was the most excruciating part of the night.


The whole production was a waiting game, tense at times, a dance with lots of wonder...wonder if the Holiday Inn will cancel our free ballroom again because of a paying contract, wonder if the ministry will shut us down on the night of the show because fashion shows with mixed audiences are illegal, wonder if the girls will actually produce enough gowns for this gig in time or will the delay in the date mean too many of our original girls will have been endorsed and left the country?


Four days before the show I was still rummaging through my drawers finding things the girls could recycle into gowns: mismatched socks, old men's ties donated to Operation Hope, a roll of gold foil brought from the recycle shop in London, an egg carton...anything I could get my hands on. I didn't need to worry; they had it under control and instead of the required 10 dresses, in all they produced about 30! Enough for one section of the show to be only black garbage bag dresses which were accented with big beautiful gemstone jewelry from one of our sponsors. The middle two sections consisted of Iszonica Tshirts with the models sashaying the rugs down the catwalk and of them wearing "real clothes" made by local designers. This was fun for the girls to see what they were chosen to model by the 3 eccentric designers who were backstage with their outfits. Some of these dresses were mighty short for a Kuwaiti audience; lucky they had leggings with them, and underwear in different colors, and tanks! The final trips down the catwalk was the competition and there were enough gowns for each model to wear two.

While ticket sales were a bit disappointing and many who bought didn't even show, the 100 or people who came were so enthusiastic and their enjoyment of the event was great. There were expats as well as locals which was really exciting. One woman in a head covering bought the pink rosebud rug for her daughter's room and said she wanted to print out the story behind the rug and post it on the wall where she would hang the rug! Reporters from 2 newspapers and the British Business Forum were there to get the story. Robert wisely suggested I give the reporters a copy of my speech (I had to write it out in advance and get it approved by the Kuwait sponsor for the event) so I would not so easily be misquoted as I was in the first story. They were both happy to get this and used excerpts from it quite nicely in the articles published today. I was quite nervous about what would be said when I knew everyone related to the embassy was probably a bit on edge after the Marine Ball had to be cancelled last night due to security issues just 3 hours before curtain time! The food was already on location. Good thing Robert & I didn't have tickets; we were planning to go the the British Remembrance Service & curry dinner instead. Fortunately, this was allowed to go on but with heightened security.

Having never been to a fashion show before, I didn't know what to expect. Iszonica Modelling School is run by a dear young Jamaican/English lady who is also a Christian. She really knows her stuff & made everything so professional down to the printed program; no detail left untended. Her partner is a Kuwaiti who provided the oversight, the money, and the WASTA! Without the wasta, there would have been no show. He was a charming, westernized man & very interesting. He is a dentist with a practice but also a businessman with many different ventures going at once. He runs events like this on a regular basis so it was no big deal to him. I was thankful to have him check my speech so I would not offend anyone unknowingly...even though at times that is precisely what needs to be done!

It was really fun for me to have Emily's participation. She was really too busy to undertake the modelling workshops & practices required to participate, but she was willing to do it and even recruited 3 friends to join her. This was definitely a step outside her comfort zone but she performed with beauty and grace; I am so proud of her. Some of the funniest things came from backstage happenings that she was able to observe. The girls gave back their payment to support the housmaids but they are able to get National Honor Society service hours for the time they spent. The girls calculated that they personally would have raised over 600 US dollars from their efforts...I know it was more. It looks like the total earnings will be around $3,000. I am so happy we get to share this with both the Philippine Embassy shelter AND the Nepalese women living at the Salvation Army guest house & training center. They made the 3rd prize dress and discovered by some accounting "error" there was actually 90 KD in their envelope instead of 50! Crown Relocations (the sponsor who gave all the prize money) said they didn't know how it happened but they should keep the difference! This was a huge blessing to them. They now house 27 girls without ANY government support. The ladies bake, sew, knot plastic bags, and anything else they are given to do with great enthusiasm. Many of them have been transformed while living in this transitional home.

In the aftermath of a frantic few days, we are urging the video man to rush with his editing, collecting pictures & Emily is editing them, finalizing the finances, all before we go to both shelters to share the evening with our girls who made the gowns. Seeing their pride will undoubtedly be the best reward of all.

Media Mania

Article across breast reads: "Brothel bust could lead to Sex Scandal" Was the designer intentional? hee hee hee

November 6, 2010

On the phone, a frantic voice: "where is the girl's head, we want her head! Why did you cut it off!" After a minute, I gathered I was talking to the ad manager of the Kuwait Times Newspaper who I had corresponded with regarding their sponsorship of our upcoming Fashion Show for Trash to Treasure.

It all started when the welfare manager at the Philippine Embassy ask me if I would be willing to talk to a reporter who had taken interest in the program I do with their ladies. She was eager for this Filipino reporter to do this very positive story about what their citizens are doing (they have had some unflattering press recently.) After I agreed, it became apparent the timing was perfect as we would need some PR for our charity fashion show and Kuwait Times "bit" when we offered to make a newspaper dress to be modeled in the show in exchange for their support & free advertising. So, in addition to the story which he already wanted to do, we would get ad space and coverage of the fashion show which is next week.

Ben came to our home & spent over an hour with me to get an understanding of the program Trash to Treasure. He did not ask me any questions that made me worry about how I would respond. Nothing about why we are in Kuwait, my motives for serving this way, I felt very "safe." He followed up with a photo shoot at the embassy which I was shocked they allowed and embraced. He talked to my "girls" and was a delightful person with real interest in the story. Ben even agreed to connect me with the ad man who would see that info on the fashion show got in the paper.

A couple of days later I sent the "ad man" a very carefully worded blurb about the show that would benefit "needy women in Kuwait" and gave the email of the modeling agency who is putting on the show, for more information & ticket sales. I had just received the finished "Kuwait Times Dress" and wanted to give him a preview so he would know they were being represented at the show. For my hasty photo, I asked Emily to slip on the paper dress just after she'd come home from school and her hair & face were not "picture ready." Even though I knew this was not for publication, I cropped her head in the picture I sent the ad man.

When I got the frantic phone call, I was in the city with Emily but assured him I would take a photo he could publish if my "model" agreed: she did. It was 3 hours later before we got home, got her make-up & hair done & finally took a picture she was willing to see in the paper. We emailed it off and waited for the paper the next day.

Right at the top of the page 4x6 inches at least, there it was! Headless Emily! I guess it had to go to print before we could get him the replacement. If THAT was not enough, he added that the dresses are being made by "runaway housemaids" and for more information please call Cheryl Spessert at 9944 1743...my personal mobile!!! I'm screwed!

I called Michelle, the gal doing the fashion show: she nearly hit the floor. Her partner/sponsor in the country is a Kuwaiti who she feared would not take well to the wording of the article. Two days later when the axe had not dropped, we thought we may be out of the woods. I sent ad man an email and requested my phone number be dropped from future publications.

By mid week I was absorbed in a social responsibility fair at American University where very interested students and faculty purchased $775.00 worth of rugs & jewelry! They also invited me to speak at the lunch hour "diwanya" where ideas are exchanged & questions asked. I was interrupted by a phone call from a friend who watches out for my "back side" and felt I should invite/advise the American Ambassador of the fashion show. Perhaps she would be upset that she was not informed? I had not imagined that she would would care or notice. Yes, I would give her an invitation...her secretary was checking her schedule.

On Friday I got up and went to the website, anxious to see how the story had been told. To my surprise, I had been quoted as saying things I'd never uttered! The gist was there: we want to create something sustainable rather than just handing out donations, we want to give the women a skill so they may be able to generate income back home and stay with their families rather than have to choose between raising their children or providing for their education...somehow that translated into "we're not just giving them fish but we are providing nets." I guess it works! Fortunately, nothing was grossly misrepresented and he told the story fairly. I knew there was "artistic license" but I just never knew you could insert anything you wanted to say into the speaker's mouth in order to aide the flow of the story.

It was not until last night when I was looking at the two page spread that I saw the red block I had first assumed was part of an advertisement...it was NOT. It was My name AND PHONE NUMBER in large letters there for the world to see...and call:) So much for maintaining a low profile here!

Trashion Show

October 29, 2010

Tea lights flickered on the desk, dancing to the sound of ocean waves & flute music. I smoothed the skin across her brow in an effort to press the stress away. Working gently over her scalp, down her neck & kneading my way towards her shoulders I traversed muscles like steel cables tightly strung.

It was "Spa Night" at the shelter and time to pamper our hard working designers who have been working day and night on their rugs, dolls, and dresses that will be entered into the upcoming "Trashion Show" competition. A local modeling school which is run by Michelle, a British lady, offered to teach the women dressmaking techniques using recycled materials, then put on a professional fashion show (which sadly they cannot attend since they are undocumented and at risk of arrest if they leave the shelter.) This show will be a benefit to the two shelters I am working with; tickets sell for around $40. The Holiday Inn here has agreed to give us the ballroom for free, other companies are kicking in donations for printing, special lighting, refreshments, etc. and they will all get exposure as well. Both local papers will report; the Kuwait Times is working on a story on Trash to Treasure now. They have a wonderful Filipino reporter who spent over an hour at my house, then came to "spa night" to get more of the story and photos (miraculously they have agreed without any qualms to let them publish pics.)

I was wondering how I could reward these 30 ladies who are pouring such creativity and time into this project when I got a call from a lady who owns a beauty salon. Rebbecca saw the Trash To Treasure rugs at the British Business Forum where one of our new partners Crown Relocation, was selling rugs for us. She bought a rug & tracked me down to see how she could help. After purchasing 10 rugs, she wanted to do more! She was thrilled to bring her staff to the shelter to serve these ladies who could never afford her services but could benefit so much. Once again, before I even knew what to ask for, God had the answer "in the wings" and Rebbecca came, as promised 2 days later to the women's pure delight.

We set up the room with a table for nails, hair, space to continue working on their projects, and Yolly (Welfare manager) let us use her office as a quite space where I could give a few massages. At their request, I now have Michael Jackson hit songs on my ipod and they grooved to the music while they were pampered & watched each other get prettied up. We got platters of cookies for them to enjoy with plenty of of leftovers. I get teary just remembering the looks on their faces when they broke into applause after I told them the plan for the evening. It was like Christmas morning.

I asked my first "client" if she had any pain or spots that really needed attention. She told me her left arm is partly numb, partly painful...how long? One year. Ever seen a doctor? "When I get back to Philippines I will."

I had to use a very light touch through her arms & shoulders as everything seemed to hurt. I noticed her teeth were crying for a dentist and suffering from lack of care. Within minutes, she began to relax into the mat like butter in the sun. She didn't want to talk, it looked like she actually fell asleep...this was only a 15 minute massage...could she be that tired?

This precious lady ran away from her employer and found herself ensnared for 2 months in a brothel before getting to POLO where she was at least safe. If I were in her shoes, living with 200+ women and 3 bathrooms, I fear I would be upstairs staring at the wall. I know most of them ARE. We get to work with the brightest, most motivated women although the profits benefit everyone in the house. I do wonder what more we could do for the others...

My next two ladies seemed to want to talk while I worked their scalp, face, neck, shoulders & arm muscles. I loved getting to listen one-on-one about the 3 yr old daughter, the 7 yr old son...

Josie told me how she came on a contract to work in business as she has a college degree, but instead was placed as a house maid and has not been paid in the past 4 months. Her arms were small; she thinks they got smaller and weaker as she had to constantly lift heavy objects.

Rosita talked fast as I worked, pent up stories & concerns bubbled to the surface. After a few minutes, tears erupted as well. She wants to see her children when she gets back to the Philippines but then needs to try to work abroad again in a new place so she can provide for them. It sounded like her husband had been unfaithful but it was hard to understand. She told me she does not get enough to eat there, no fruit or vegetables except for beans. She was worried that when she does get to Manila, she will have no means of transportation to the island where she lives since she has not been paid and has no money. (I since determined there is assistance for the overseas workers once they arrive in Manila.) She asked me if I was a "born again Christian" and was happy to discover I shared her faith. When I finished her massage I asked if I could pray with her and she said "that is what I am waiting for."

Before we left I was able to make "bonus payments" to the ladies whose work I had sold this week, give feedback to our top rugmaker on her color schemes, make a fool of myself dancing with the girls to Jackson tunes, and introduce the reporter to the work being done. My faithful taxi driver, Kalai, was waiting patiently outside the locked gate to wisk me away from this world to my "other world" and I wonder, which is the real world?

(I also did a facebook photo album from this evening.)

Hindu Doll Festival Oct 8, 2010

Last Friday, Emily & I were invited to her Indian girlfriend's home to celebrate Navratri Golu, a Hindu doll festival originating in Southern India. Navratri, meaning 9 nights is celebrated for 10 days. This is a display of dolls predominantly with that of the Gods and Goddesses depicting their mythology on an odd number of steps. This is mainly a festival for the women. Every evening, married women and girls dress up in their colorful silk sarees go to see this golu in homes.

We felt very honored to be the only non Indians present along with Tonya (Thai/Canadian) who is like another daughter to me. She looks like she could fit in but actually has more of a Buddisht background. These friends are actually Canadian but honor and keep their culture alive. We did not realize the extent her friend's family practiced their religion. In a closet type space there was an altar where they burn incense and pray daily. In the same small room, there were stairs set up to display the characters. The "dolls" represent the many different faces or attributes of God; knowledge, justice, love, etc. There are 3 main female dieties considered the "trinity" who are especially worshiped during this festival. On the lower shelves are dolls from vairous countries they have visited; ones with personal memories attached much like our collection of Christmas ornaments from places we have visited. Surrounding the display were Christmas lights and burning incense. I had to bathe & wash my hair to get the sweet, strong scent out before I could sleep.

There was great attention to detail in the preparation for this open house. To "keep ants from coming indoors," corn flour is sprinkled (free hand) outside the door in decorative patterns and candles are lit in the designs. Beautiful! The food was artfully prepared and much of it was symbolic & special for this occasion. Each night one vegetarian dish is made as an offering to the goddesses, then served with the meal. The food is served with a delicious variety of breads which double as utensils. Eating with our fingers seemed to work out okay until a new guest arrived; shaking hands while eating without a fork left me feeling a bit...messy!

Our hostess greeted her Indian guests with a touch of 3 different spices applied to their foreheads & throats. One of them stood for purity, I forgot what the others meant. She also had individual gift bags for each of the many guests who called. There was a very respectful rhythm to the evening and it felt rather formal. It seemed more cultural to me but I recogized it was deeply religious for some. Our desire for the sacred is so universal, its expression so varied.

Emily, Tanya & I felt so under dressed! We didn't realize how dolled up the ladies would be. It was actually the first time for her friend to wear a "half saree" so it was a very special occasion. We were told that young girls get to wear these less cumbersome dresses first; when they are older, they get to wear the full sari which has something like 6 meters of fabric to learn to navigate in! The women & girls were stunningly beautiful and Emily was remorseful that there is no "American traditional dress!" In addition to the clothes, many ladies had placed carefully laced jasmine flowers into their hair, so when giving a hug, there is this heavenly scent of jasmine! This was really lovely.

Having spent and evening with this family with whom we have a growing friendship, puts Hindu practices into such a different light. As my brother, Don, explained to Molly in regards to going off to university; there is still a sense of cognitive dissonance in situations like these. The "old tapes" still play, though muted...idol worship, false gods, etc. To use a British expression, they sort of "take the Mickey out" of themselves by they way they describe the stories of their goddesses as "mythology." To me, myths are all human concoctions to explain the unexplainable as opposed to the Truth we have come to know about God through Jesus Christ. More and more, I find myself wanting to say to people dear to me who are such God-seeking, devout, loving people: I would love for you to meet Jesus, he has so much to say that is relevant in every culture! I desire to discover a way to do this that does not judge or condemn for that is an arrogance I cannot afford.

Jail

My contact at the P embassy gave me the thumbs up that I could join her for a visit to our stranded Filipino maid at the deportation center (fancy word for jail complete with high barbed wire fences.) I was sooo happy to get to go to jail! A 45 minute drive through jam packed roads brought us to the big gray complex. My friend took half an hour or more to get past 3 guards & finally get permission to bring me in with her to see "the general." I scooped up the bag of goodies I'd brought her and joined the conference in the lovely office with A/C & wall mounted TV. Our dis-sheveled friend was brought in wearing a tee shirt with holes and ratty jogging pants; she had obviously lost weight and was sick with a cough. The man asked her "why are you still here?" "I don't know." "Did you steal money?" "No sir." The rest of us were seated comfortably, she was left to stand the entire meeting.

After much running after files & conferencing, they said she must have a case against her & promised to look into it. The word on the street is that her sponsor is related to the immigration official and is trying to extract more money before letting her go. In other words, "wasta" is needed for this case.

We were hoping to visit the ward where other Filipino women were kept but were told to come back at three o'clock for that. It was obvious this was a delay tactic meant to make us lose interest. When my friend told them she needed to see her Filipino women, he relented, but said "only you may go"...unsaid: not the westerner.

I was thrilled to be able to give Gina a hug, say a quick prayer with her, and leave the bag after it had been searched. She said she prayed for someone to help her then looked in her phone and found my number. I pray just by being there, somehow, that will help her hold on, help the ones in power to act with integrity, send a message that we expect justice to take place. A report will be filed at her embassy and once again, we will wait...

Better than a Hallelujah

Amy Grant's "honest cries of a breaking heart are better than a hallelujah sometimes..." was a balm to my sad soul today after talking with one of our maids who called me from jail. Gina was in my 7 Habits class last spring but she left the Philippine Embassy shelter April 6; one of the unlucky ones who had to go to the "detention center" where they are supposed to get processed as undocumented citizens and fly home after a transition of a couple of weeks to a couple of months...she has been there 6 months and "nobody is helping." A text in broken English, then a weepy phone call sent out like a SOS from a sinking boat.

Gina is not just a case number to you God. I spoke to her on your behalf, told her she felt abandoned but you knew where she was and had not forgotten her...6 months in jail (long after the others have been sent home) for being the victim of abuse? I know you love justice so this has got to hurt you even worse than it pierces me. Show me how I can help.

The voice of reason (ie: my husband) says "don't you go near that jail, I don't want to come home and find YOU deported!" Emily tells me to remember, my place is helping them while they are at the shelter...

Gary Haugen (IJM) says "how far do I go? To be brutally honest, as far as I am safe. As far as I am in control. As far as the risks feel manageable. As far as my sphere of certain competence will take me. And consequently, in my secret and most honest moments I sense it doesn't take me very far at all." He goes on in his book Just Courage to ask if God is calling us to be safe or to be brave...

So these are the voices I hear as I go to prayer to ask God to intervene. Fortunately, I have a great relationship with the welfare officer at the Philippine Embassy and she assures me she is checking into it. For now I will resist the urge to grab a bag of supplies and taxi to the deportation center...

Ayisha

September 26, 2010

Year 2 and finally, we have hired a delightful Indian lady to help keep this dust trap clean...meet Ayisha! I met her when she worked for a friend of mine last year. When my friend had to move, she was most anxious to find a good place for her maid to work. Ayisha was already paying for sponsorship through her husband's sponsor/boss and only needed guaranteed work. I knew I could trust her, knew how much she wanted to provide for her two children's education back in India, and felt this would give me even more time to devote to "my girls" at the embassy shelter. We agreed to pay her a monthly salary for two days per week which is 50% more than what my neighbor's maids earn for 7 days per week. I was also able to find another great American family who wanted help 3 days per week to fill out her work schedule.

Ayisha arrives around 8:30 now on Mon & Wed and lets herself in. "Hello Madame" announces her presence but I know she is here when I hear the tiny bells on the bottom of her pants tinkling! She wears the grandest colors & the fanciest clothes I've ever seen anyone clean in. Her matching pants and dresses are trimmed elegantly in beautiful traditional Indian style. Her shyness is slowing dissolving and I'm finding a friend beneath the subservient demeanor she has learned to adopt. Yesterday I paid her extra to come and assist at a baby shower I was hosting (I knew she'd had extra expenses this week) but around the other women from the embassy, she was incredibly shy. She was uncomfortable even coming out of the kitchen to pass out juice or refill tea.

We are getting into a routine where she knows what I always want done, and what can always wait another day... To have my kitchen cleaned & mopped twice a week is so divine. To start the week with all the kids uniforms pressed and hanging up is too good to be true. Not having deep dust on all the furniture around here is such a relief. And coming home on a busy day full of meetings to smell Ayisha's chicken & fried rice on the stove is a little slice of heaven! We now keep her fresh made hummus in the fridge; it's the best in the state. She also loves to make things pretty: she takes pains to artfully garnish her dishes when I have her cook, and the way she arranged the china in the display cupboard was just picture perfect.

Our first few weeks of having her were at the end of Ramadan and she is Muslim. Since she was fasting, we shortened her workday to about 5 hours. We tried not to eat in front of her but she assured us that it was not offensive in the least. As Ramadan was ending, the intensity of their prayers is heightened and she would go to mosque with her husband but pray with the women in a separate place. I suspect the way Asians in this country practice Islam is very different from how Kuwaitis do; especially the women. She is devoted but very non judgemental and open to other faiths. I think she may even go to church with me at some point. We can openly discuss differences in our faith and this week she wanted to know the difference in Catholics & our church. As I was praying for her one day I asked God how I could help her. The answer came so clearly: pray for her children, so I asked her their names & if I could help her pray for them. She looked at me with disbelief, then great joy. She said usually Muslims pray only for themselves but believed it was good to pray for others. She wrote down the names of her children then sheepishly added her sister's little girl to the list because she is very dear to her. Her sister is the caretaker for her 2 children while she and her husband labor here to send them to private school. They have not seen the children for one and a half years. This is the price anyone without adequate means of education & employment must pay in order to secure a better future for their own children in a country where there is not enough to go around. To spend money on a ticket home, or save that precious cash to buy internet access for her teenage daughter who was given a laptop by Ayisha's last employer?? These are the choices she must make.

Ayisha & her husband live in a cramped 3 room apartment at the building his employer owns where he is a caretaker. This tiny space was cooled by a small air conditioning unit which quit working last week. This boss, which she says is really "good" refused to fix or replace the A/C and his wife was annoyed that they should ask. It is still around 120 degrees here in the day and impossible to survive in such conditions without air. They had to come up with the money to buy their own unit. Likewise, this "good" boss requires them to pay for electricity they use in a country where energy is free to Kuwaitis. We think nothing of lighting this enormous house and cooling every room to 70 degrees but when asked why she did not use the crock pot my friend gave her, she said it would cost too much to keep it on for the time it would take to cook.

Today Ayisha is very worried about the potential for violence when the supreme court in India announces the verdict of a ruling on a major dispute over an area considered sacred to both Hindu & Muslims. This announcement is due tomorrow and in anticipation of violence the whole country is under curfew and schools & businesses are closed. She wonders why they can't just share the space? Ditto in Jerusalem...

What a joy to get to know this bright & pleasant lady. The pics are from my Birthday when Emily asked her to bring her supplies for henna so we could both get temporary tattoos. She obliged with great delight. She free-handed the intricate drawings which are traditionally used for any kind of celebrations, especially for weddings. Brides would be elaborately decorated on the night before their wedding. The color lasts for around a week. After the thick stuff dries, we wash it off and the stain underneath stays on. What fun!

I just love seeing the interesting parade of people God puts in our lives. I am a firm believer in divine appointments; what an awesome God we serve!

Ramadan Again

Aug 31, 2010

Ethan & I tumbled out of the time-warp chute yesterday after fast forwarding 8 time zones and rewinding to an anachronistic culture from the Dark Ages that's been technology enhanced. Our separation from Molly in her la petite dorm room was bitter sweet but especially hard on Ethan. After a week there, I left feeling very assured that she is in a place of excellence and will thrive in that environment. God even provided a surrogate mom from a local Baptist church who promised to "be there" for Molly in any way she needed!

As we are well into Ramadan, our flight consisted mainly of Indians and very few Kuwaitis. The only other two Westerners were teachers on their way to Bangladesh. We were able to sleep on the way in between dinner (spicy Indian chicken & rice) and breakfast (spicy Indian chicken & rice.) Robert & Emily gave us a warm welcome but did not yodel or throw confetti as other greeters did. On the drive from the airport we passed a discarded, crumpled up vehicle by the roadside and I knew I was home again!

With the heat, my jet lag, and need to process my emotions & unpack, I didn't expect to leave the house for a few days. That plan de-railed at noon when Robert called to say his boss, the Sheik, had invited us and a few others from the embassy to his families Iftar (meal to break the Ramada fast) at 5:45.

Attired in suits & dresses, we needn't have worried about being overdressed. This very well connected family is a bit more progressive in dress than many. The men wore traditional dishdashas & head gear but the women wore long jewel encrusted gowns of shimmering colors. Their reception room looked like a ballroom at the Hyatt Regency Hotel and there were just as many servers around. The place was decked out in Ramadan decor of hanging crescent moons & stars, fresh flowers, a golden archway and even a decorated "Christmas Tree' as they so fondly referred to it! They all met us with a warm greeting (I had to remember not to reach to shake the sheik's hand:) and they told us their house was our house.

We were invited to sit on sofas around the room until we heard the call to prayer broadcast over the indoor speaker system, then everyone went first to the "date station" to break the fast with a wide variety of gourmet dates. The men then went to kneel in the center of the room while guests and women began to fill our plates.

The selection of foods was beyond any 5 star restaurant I could imagine. Just to mention the meats, there was several kinds of chicken, beef, lamb, shrimp, fish rolls, stuffed lobster, crabs, and duck. Each dish was artfully displayed and adorned. Everything was oh, so delicious. There were about 25 of us there and probably as many different desserts. I had 8 different juices and teas which were constantly being served by waiters in traditional garb.

Emily & Ethan were whisked away to a different table where they were "force fed" many new dishes. The ladies were charmed by our teens who enjoyed them every bit as much. Conversation with the Sheik was a little slow but their daughters were very engaging. They welcomed us to join them any night in Ramadan for Iftar but we felt a little sick at the thought of eating like that, then eating again at midnight, and another snack before dawn when the fasting begins.

We retired to the couches again after dessert and then men went to the mosque to pray again while we had yet more tea & nibbles with the women. As we got up to leave, (not sure of protocol & how long to stay) they passed out gift bags to each of us plus took goodie bags off the tree for the kids. We each got a beautiful gold trimmed traditional robe to go over our clothes, and Emily & I each were given 3 bottles of perfume (Cappuccino, Latte & Machiatto) packaged in styrofoam coffee cups which are all very appealing!

This OTT (over the top) living is pretty hard to reconcile with other realities we know here. Our housekeeper described how light and simple their Indian family eats after fasting during Ramadan. Kuwaitis put their own spin on all things religious & cultural as I'm sure we Americans do...we're just usually blind to our own "spins."

Update (Reader's Digest Version) Sept 3, 2010

Since my Easter post, I've traveled many miles. Either time or inspiration was insufficient for me to blog along the way. I will try to recall some highlights of my Spring & Summer so swiftly slipping away.

In May, we took our last family trip before Molly left home for college. We met up with friends from London and took a pilgrimage of sort to the Holy Lands of Israel and hiked our way thru the rocks of Petra, Jordan. We gained a lifetime of enrichment and precious memories together.

Molly & I spent a week in London, compliments of our health insurance to get some testing done that wasn't available in Kuwait. We enjoyed seeing old friends, a musical, and being back "home."

In mid June, Emily, Ethan and I flew to the States and were joined by Robert. Molly stayed in Kuwait to work at the US Embassy. Ethan & Robert spent a week at Boy Scout Camp in Ohio, then we drove Ethan to jazz camp in Illinois where he learned improvisation skills.

Twenty-eight of my family met in Springfield, Ill at my brother's lakeside home to play and celebrate my dad's 90th birthday.

Robert visited his parents in Texas, (we got the see them in Tucson) he worked a week in Florida, and flew back to be with Molly in Kuwait.

Ethan, Emily & I drove to Tucson where I completed the 160 clinical hours needed for my RN Refresher with a dear doctor friend in his MDVIP practice. It was fun to be back in the game but tricky being a working, "single" mom. We lived in a lovely apartment, I got to attend the fabulous Willowcreek Leadership Summit, and I spent many hours with my awesome ya-yas.
Ethan & Emily enjoyed the freedom to walk to Target or Subway, swim, hang out, and Emily took a driver's ed course before flying to Canada to be with her friend from London on her way home.

Molly flew from Kuwait to join us for the last week in Tucson then helped me drive back through Albuquerque, through OKC for another visit with Don's family, we spent a night in Springfield, Ill with Gary, then on to New Castle for a few more days with my dad. Ethan volunteered in a community food bank while Molly & I shopped to get her ready for college.

After driving over 5000 miles, we parked the van again and flew to Raleigh, NC for the last leg of the journey...the one we spent 18 years preparing for! Elon University did not disappoint in any way. Molly happily connected with her new international student friends and never looked back. After getting her firmly ensconced in college life, Ethan & I took in a all American baseball game in Burlington before jetting the 14 hours home to Kuwait. I think Robert and Emily were happy to see us. I am dazed.

Easter & A New Grocery

Just the fact that I'm excited over a new grocery COOP opening by one of our neighborhood mosques says something, don't you think? It means I don't have to take a taxi to and from the grocery ($10) to buy my 2-3 gallons of milk ($6/gal) when Robert is unavailable (often.) It also means, I have an excuse to get out, maybe meet a few more neighbors, and have easy access to the things I use most often: milk, fresh herbs, flat bread, fresh feta cheese, etc.


Robert & I walked over tonight and it was just at the conclusion of evening prayers. The men were streaming out of the mosque, slipping into their shoes, and slipping off into the night on their cellphones, sons by their side, robes flowing in the sandy air. I changed out of my shorts & covered up my t-shirt that says "US Army" before leaving the house; "standing out" is what we do best, even when modestly dressed. I am usually oblivious, but Molly gets a lot of unwanted attention when she is out and about. Note to self this week: if she must walk to the embassy, I go with her. (She got 2 offers for rides last time)


We strolled each isle to see what was stocked in this larger-than-CircleK shop. Special K cereal, Jolly Green Giant vegetables...they must know there are expats in the mix of this community! Meat & even a small selection of fresh vegetables was a welcome site. The toiletries were well priced and will make shopping for my Filipino maids easy.


We started a new class at the embassy last week; on Monday night we picked up the first 12 rugs which were completed. It was interesting to see where these women were at mentally, socially, compared to our group who we spent 2 months with. There was so much more synergy after having taught them the 7 habits & built a sense of team in the last group. They had seemed to get beyond the hoarding mentality (with the resources) and were open and participating. This new group reminds us of how far we came with the others. The number scooted up from the limit of 30, to 40 for the first night but we let it slip since many of them will leave before finishing. There was not enough table space, but we resolved that by purchasing 3 new 8 foot tables last night. We will try to pay for them out of donations rather than profits from the crafts. Sales in my immediate circles have been highly profitable; now I must find new venues.


Kids are on spring break this week, nice to sleep in a bit and have them around. We've braved the beach south of here at the Hilton and no one got sick from swimming in the Gulf! Some moms think I'm nuts, but I believe in diffusion! The sewage spills were much further north and it must be VERY diluted by the time it reached the Hilton! I have a friend who won't even eat anything grown in Kuwait for fear of what's in the soil, er sand? I've not really seen any soil here...I can't live like that!


We were fortunate to have the kids off during Easter week; Sunday was a school day for many. Robert got the day off but it was not a holiday. We tried to make it special in our home as the rest of the country was clueless what we were celebrating. Thursday evening just our family had a Christian Seder meal together and was warmed by this tradition with all it's meaning. Saturday, Emily's friend came over who has a Buddhist mom and a no-faith dad. She wanted to experience Easter with us and seeing it through her eyes made it even more special. We watched The Passion of Christ Sat. evening & Tonya & I cried through that. Sunday am the kids all did the scripture treasure hunt I'd prepared & eventually found their Easter baskets. Then we examined the 4 resurrection accounts and extracted so much meaning from the different perspectives as we charted what was the same and different. In the afternoon, we painted eggs and chatted with more friends who were arriving. By dinner there were 13 of us to enjoy ham & lamb with all the trimmings. It was nice to have Molly's help in the kitchen & with baking...I'm gonna miss that! Emily folded our dinner napkins into cute little rabbits except for Harvey's: he got a dead chicken which she learned to make from a waiter in Cairo:) Our guests included Tonya, a AF officer away from home, our Canadian friends, and 3 teachers; one was on his way back to Kabul where he teaches English. After dinner, we celebrated with a rousing "See What A Morning" while Ethan accompanied us on his sax, followed by "In Christ Alone." Singing at the table was a shock to Tonya but she survived Easter with the Spesserts and has been home reading through the New Testament from her Easter basket! It was such a joy to share this day with such delightful people.

Rags To Riches!

March 23, 2010

After several setbacks with this project, I'm basking in a moment of success. We knew we were making a difference with many women in terms of their own personal growth and confidence, we knew they were improving the quality of their product, what we didn't know FOR SURE was: will these sell well??? I took 22 rugs to my Bible study group of about 50 women today, sold 11 of them and the girls made $426.00 of PURE PROFIT!!! Oh, minus a box of paper clips to be exact:) We sold some rugs and some jewelry on the night of the exhibit & graduation (see photos) and now we are at over $600.00 sales. I'm so thankful for this God inspired idea which looks to benefit these women so much. Thankful too for youtube where I learned to make them myself! I'm developing friendships with several tailors, two of the Pakistani, who are so much a part of this too. They save their fabric remnants and are now welcoming me with big smiles when I show up to collect the trash bags full. They work long, hard, hours in tiny shops where the low ceiling supports another floor crammed full of sewing machines & men bowed over them. They seem to be so happy to help someone a few steps below them on the ladder.

Our "graduation" celebration was a sweet time. It was lovely to see the work displayed all over the room and to have guests come and share in their success. There was confusion of who actually got the gold embossed certificates, signed by the labor attache. These documents are highly coveted and proudly embraced by this culture it seems. We wanted them to be meaningful, but then it was hard to draw the line of who could graduate...if they missed one class, two classes? This time we have made a contract for them to sign up front that states requirements for graduation, expected work ethics (don't keep or give away what you have made:) and guidelines for managing their resources. We ALL learned a lot this first go 'round!

The top photo is me with Yoli, the welfare officer with the impossible job. She works unbelievable hours and always seems very stressed and rushed. She came to the event and stayed after the ceremony for picture taking and ended up laughing & goofing off with the "wards" and it was such a fun evening in a place so filled with sad stories. She said she felt no stress at all that night.

The fact that all their fabric had to be thrown out due to an infectious skin condition of one lady, one of the dear ladies had to go to jail in order to get to return home instead of her agency buying her a plane ticket, quarrels over who would get the limited fabric when I began to bring more, "loss" of jeans taken to them to make purses, and missing jewelry making supplies....we have much more to celebrate than be discouraged over! I pray God will give us the ability to "seek first to understand before seeking to be understood" just as we are teaching them.

Rugs & Rich Rewards

I just finished condensing the many pages of feedback our students at the shelter wrote for us. All but 3 wrote in English which was perfectly understandable although it is their second language. I am overwhelmed with joy at what God is doing here in the midst of such dire circumstances. It is what I hoped for, but I'm not sure my faith was great enough to yeild this. After Wednesday, we will be ready to start selling the products. I pray they will be enthusiastically received. The photo is of some of the rugs scattered across my floor where I've been steaming & tagging them today. When we went this week for the last class of this session, they proudly took me to a room which the managers had emptied out just for them to work in! This is a miracle, as space here is SO tight. They were wall to wall women and rugs with the fabric all piled in a corner. The gals making jewelry had their beads all hung up from a hat rack they found and it was beautifully displayed. I'll put up more pictures soon; most were not on my camera. Here is what they had to say:

“On my first few days here, life is very boring, but when I learned to make rugs, I turned those days fruitful and make myself productive to my fellow wards by teaching them the skill, instead of wasting my time gossiping.”

“The 7 Habits very important for all the housemaids here in OWWA because they help us forget some of our problems and they teach us to do the things that no need for money, like how to make the rugs.”

“It makes us more proficient upon solving and tackling the obstacles that may come to our lives. Now, we’re confident enough to face and encounter everything that lies ahead.”

“I’ve realized that God is good for He bring these people in our lives, to have hope all the time despite of all the trials we encounter each day.”

“With this course we enjoy the days here in POLO, hope it will continue to the next generation.”

“I’m so happy that they teach us how to be strong and a fighter to our lives. They also teach us to be more creative and to think more of our future, by teaching how to make bags, using the rules, also making jewelry using papers.”

“In this rug making course we don’t have work this can help me to earn money because my age there is no available work. Through this rug making I make and sell to help my family.”

“It can help me earn my way of living. I can earn money to get extra income, in making rugs, jewelry. What I have learn I teach then other friends, to share my knowledge. I am very happy cause now I return back to my nation, I’m not afraid cause I have ideas how to earn money by using my ability.”

“I am very eager to know something idea from somebody, because I want to learn more as what they learn to add my talent. In this way I can move on to not working as domestic helper. I want to make a small business.”

“We planning to put a business with my friends. We are very lucky to learn this skill because this is a good and easy job. Thank You.”

Desert Campout

February 27, 2010

So, a Hindi, a Buddhist, a Mormon & two Christians all came together for a party in a Muslim country...Sounds like a joke waiting for a punch line? No, it's just Emily's 16th Birthday celebration in the Kuwaiti desert, just shy of the Iraqi border off the I80 where troops pass back & forth. There was even a big sign on the road as we neared the border "God Bless the Troops."

I can't wait to see what God is preparing my kids for when I see the paths he leads them through. Emily's girlfriends were discussing spiritual matters in the wee hours of the night under a sandy, moon dusted night in the Gulf, while a watchful Bangladeshi Guard secured our campsite. Emily has delighted in rather "unusual" birthday parties from the age of 4 when she had a pretend wedding party. This year, she longed to experience the Bedouin-ish lifestyle of desert camping which is a huge part of Kuwait culture from Nov-Mar each year. Thousands of otherwise sane people, abandon beautiful villas for tent cities that resemble refuge camps. This "getting back to nature" makes us laugh--how much "nature" is their when all you see for miles is sand??? However, just outside the city in every direction the desert is dotted with camps; each surrounded by tires "planted" vertically in the sand to mark off individual dwellings.

One of Robert's colleagues heard that we were having a hard time finding a place to rent and offered his family camp over the Prophets Birthday when many people flock south to Mecca, Saudi Arabia. This friend is one of 9 brothers who share a camp site off the road to Baghdad. The fully equipped site had many tents; one large one with a squat toilet attached, a kitchen with running water and a generator with lights strung from tent to tent. Emily's girlfriends arrived for the sleepover full of excitement for the unknown. She & Ethan had already found a carcass of a 15 inch poisonous lizard in the sand. While "sledding" down some sand dunes in the area, they discovered a scorpion with a golden, translucent body known to be highly poisonous here...I tried not to think about how easily the girls could have been bitten as they carried a piece of abandoned cardboard they planned to use for a sled, only to discover they had transported the scorpion as well. We have since discovered that the sandy, dusty weather brings them out.

Other "entertainment" included a massive foam & silly string fight, in keeping with the spirit of liberation and National Days: Feb 25-26. These back-to-back holidays celebrate Kuwait's Independence from Britain and it's liberation from Iraq. This occasion has a reputation for rowdiness, to put it mildly. Vandalism and dangerous behavior are more accurate...this year, 11 teens died over the holiday. To our delight, most of the other campers in the area seemed to be black veiled women & children. We ran to investigate when we heard horns blaring and got caught up in a parade of Kuwaitis who were just as intrigued by us, as we were of them. The teens rode on the running board of our host's driver's jeep (something NO decent parent should allow!) while 8-10 other vehicles drove randomly on the sand with tons of kids and teens stacked on and hanging off. We exchanged friendly fire of silly string and foam under pressure which is sold for this occasion in copious amounts...I just happened to bring a bag along! Some people stopped for a close-up photo, others jumped off and ran over to give our kids Kuwait flags to wave. We followed behind with Molly in our vehicle taking photographs. Only one kid tried to spoil the fun by intentionally foaming Molly's camera. Otherwise, this was a sweet exchange of goodwill. They were happy to hear we were American and we were thrilled to get an inside glimpse of this desert-dweller life.

In the afternoon as we were eating in our "dining tent" we felt the wind whip up. The tea boy (this is what they call the men hired to take care of a place) began closing tent flaps to protect us from the blast but we had to experience our first sandstorm. As pins & needles lashed at my exposed skin I imagined hauling this whole crowd back home for the balance of the party, but thankfully, it died down to just a dusty haze.

Robert & Ethan were fantastic to share their Boy Scout skills and knowledge with us, they even made warm dump cake topped with sparklers over hot coals in the sand...yum! I pre-cooked BBQ beef and sides. Fireworks after dinner lit up our night sky and we sat around the fire with the tea boy communicating with us in broken English. The girls retreated to talk, Molly went to sleep in her own tent in preparation for her trip to the states, and Ethan had to pitch his own camping tent in spite of the many large tents at our disposal. The evening cooled off but it was quite cozy in our sleeping bags.

After a breakfast of fresh fruit & S'mores, we packed two car loads of gritty girls & gear and returned to Kuwait City. This was another memorable teenage party; I was very thankful Emily has managed to make such super sweet, smart, caring, quality friends. They clearly adore her, and seemed to tolerate her quirky family quite well:)

Voice of Truth

This morning I got a call that my dear, sweet friend who was wanting to help me with the work I do at Embassy shelters just lost her husband in yet another Kuwaiti car crash...two little boys, so far from home. Her husband worked for Chevron, they too are American. I've sobbed and yelled at God & spewed bitter angst at this country for this needless tragedy that keeps recurring. Finally, the refrain from this song quieted my spirit & reminded me that I have to choose my response.



But the Voice of truth tells me a different story

the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"

and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"

Out of all the voices calling out to me

I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth (Casting Crowns)



We had our 7 Habits class tonight at the Philippine Embassy shelter and I went with a heavy heart; the wonderful attache who had been so supportive of our work left suddenly and was replaced with a new guy (Mr. Vidal) who cancelled all ministry programs in his first week in office. When I sat down with the Welfare Officer tonight, I learned we were included in the "axe" but we would be allowed to finish our class next week, just no celebration/expo at the end, and no more courses.


I asked if I might meet with Mr. Videl's wife, who I'd met on another occasion. Yolly said she would try and arrange a meeting and suggested I bring him a proposal of what we do. Around 7:30pm, I was ushered upstairs to meet with Mrs. Vidal; I brought Becky with me and we were soon sitting in the Attache's office with BOTH of them, and Yolly was summoned as well. It was soon clear that he assumed we were part of those who were doing"evangelicalism" and did not realize our goals were the same as his goals for his Filipino "wards." He saw no value in the programs the church was offering; he only wanted to equip the ladies for life back in the Philippines. After much discussion, we were given the green light to continue our program, as well as his full support for the special celebration we were planning to recognize the ladies achievements and exhibit their work! Praise God for his favor, I am humbled once again.

When we returned to the women downstairs who were by then, setting up to work on the jewelry & rug making, there was much cheering & joy that we would be allowed to carry on. They are sad at the loss of the church services and we pray he will will have a change of heart. I feel an even greater responsibility now to realize we are the only Christians allowed access in a place so full of need. I feel woefully inadequate to be in this position but it's so clear to me that this is HIS work, I just get to tag along. He keeps bringing me people who are qualified in ways that far exceed my gifts. When I was tempted to panic over what seemed to be the loss of something dear to me, the Voice of Truth whispered "I love them even more, trust me."

Fear is such a powerful, ugly force and it can paralyze. It's tempting to think conditions here (traffic fatalities, low health standards, environmental pollutants, lack of good medical care, government corruption, etc.) are more threatening than other places but I know this is not true. Talking to my friends in the states, the economy is pretty scary too...not to mention life in Haiti, Chile, the list goes on. For my broken hearted friend here, and to my sisters scattered across Europe & the States, we just gotta listen to "The Voice of Truth."