No Gentlemen Allowed

Emily & Ethan at American School of Kuwait (ASK)

not yet in uniform

September 1, 2009

First, thanks for all the comments on email & on the blog! It felt a lot less like I was talking to myself:)

Tuesday was "Back To School" day for Emily & Ethan & after all the build-up, it was such a relief to have it come & go without too much drama. The Ramadan schedule means they don't start school till 9:00 compared to the usual 7:15. They were ready on time, but at the last minute, Ethan felt the need to change his socks, so in his typical fashion, he ran out the door at 8:15 carrying his new black school shoes under his arms. The bus was full of students, a few protective parents, driver, guard, and following close behind it was the Embassy suburban which provided extra security. The windows are all covered with curtains like an old hippie van and there was nothing to suggest it was full of American school children.

I thought I would get more housework done but an invite from a friend to go shopping was accepted and we spent the morning at ACE Hardware and True Value! These stores here have everything from shoes to bed sheets and school supplies, so we were very efficient with our time. Emily's insulated lunchbox was one of those items I "just knew" I'd packed, but must have gone instead to storage...now her PBJ won't melt!

Back by one o'clock, I was here to meet the housing crew who was bringing us additional furniture we had requested (another refrigerator, chest, closet, desk, etc.) As usual, a team of around six Indian men arrived to heft our furniture into place, replace our DVD player, and complete my "laundry list" of small maintenance issues. I think if wanted a fire pole from from the top floor to the ground they would say "Yes mam, you buy, we will install! They are always very sweet and at least one of them speaks very good English. If they see me lifting something, anything, while they are here it's "here Madame, let me get that."

Robert dropped in for lunch and was driving a "new" car. He was called and told to return the other one (the one with the "bullet" hole) and pick up a different one. It is still an 8 seater Tahoe, just a different color. All a part of "Force Protection" we are learning. He also brought home a 5 kilogram bag of Arabic candies and nuts which his Kuwaiti General gave to him to pass out to children during the Mid Ramadan Festival of Girgian, which means "candy." From what I can learn, this is a more regional tradition specific to the Gulf area and goes on for 3 nights when neighborhood children dress up in traditional clothes and go door to door for treats, just like on Halloween. I had purchased 4 bags of Tootsie Roll Pops but now we will be ready for hoards of kids should they arrive!

Emily & Ethan came off the bus red as beets & ready to be watered and fed. Emily & the other girls had been warned before going into school in the morning about the Kuwaiti boys and cautioned to ignore their advances or comments. When the clutch of girls passed by their first group of boys, I'm surprised they didn't kick them in the shins, just for good measure! Fortunately, they didn't because there were NO issues at all and Emily does not expect any. Reality sometimes conforms to our expectations so I'm glad Emily also expects cordial and non problematic relationships with all.

Both kids have 1-2 classes with friends. Because both of them are in some advanced classes, they feel quite "young." Emily said she has never felt "so different, so little, so out of place." Non Middle Easterners are definitely in the minority. However, most teachers are American or Canadian and there are some gems among them. One of Emily's teachers she has for 2 classes was pretty scary and threatening with all her talk of rules, responsibilities and consequences...from past experience, she will probably end up being Emily's favorite! The work load for 2 honors classes, 1 AP class, chemistry and pre-calc is expected to be pretty heavy for Emily. Since Ethan tested into Algebra, he will also have to work fairly hard. They found passing up and down outside stairs on 3 levels to get to classes rather exhausting. Crazy thing is that on the second day of school they have to start sports and extra curricular activities. Emily has swim tryouts and Ethan will audition for the High School play since they need MS boys for Oliver. For all who are praying for a smooth transition for these two....THANK YOU!!

After dinner, Robert took me to my haircut appointment as I cannot drive his Govt. car. The "saloon" was in an apartment building that looked like a place I would not go alone at night. However, as we reached the saloon, I remembered: No Men Allowed! There was a kitchen chair in the hallway outside the door where he could sit, but he was not permitted to enter the nicely furnished, air conditioned lounge and wait :( Because spa/saloons are a place where women "un-cover" they are off limits to men. He was quite happy to go hunt for a grocery instead and top us up on milk & eggs.

The hairdressers were warm & friendly, mostly Filipino ladies & I was escorted right in. It was not busy, but stayed open till 11 pm like everywhere. My stylist has done hair in Kuwait for 15 years and is now supporting her grandchildren back home. I am always amazed at how they seem to give up their own lives in order to make money for the rest of their family. When asked if she likes it here: "no." It is unanimous with every TKN I have spoken to! I inquired if it was difficult to be away from loved ones and she explained that her role was "provider" and there were others who did the nurturing; grandparents, aunts, etc. I can't imagine compartmentalizing parenting like this, what a sacrifice.

I was quite pleased with my haircut, it was better than the last cut I got in the states! (More expensive too at over $30.00 w/ tip) When I was paying, the lady was trying to sell me on other spa summer specials; one of the packages included "Sheera" and I asked what that was. "Total body waxing" she told me. I guess I looked a bit squeamish & said "no thank you." She said "for you, we make another treatment." I knew it had to do with Islamic practice for women & here is what I learned:

First of all, removing unwanted hair from the body is an act of fitrah. Referring to this, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said “The fitrah is five things: circumcision, trimming the mustache, cutting the nails, plucking the armpit hairs, and shaving the pubic hairs”(Al-Bukhari and Muslim).

With that final tidbit of cultural education, I must go see my neighbor about a costume for Ethan for Girgean!