Eid Mubarak

Roof Top Views from our House

One of our neighborhood Mosques with loudspeakers

Mutla Ridge

Emily & Molly with the Philippine Labor Attache

Run Away House Maids Worshipping

Entertaining the children who live at the Embassy

September 25, 2009

Ramadan is behind us and this week has been the Eid holiday. Eid is the celebration of the end of Ramadan and we're told it is a bit like Christmas. Some places have "Christmas lights" strung up, and stores have sales on for the many gift shoppers. I understand presents are exchanged but I've not really seen this. I made apple pies for some of my neighbors (the criteria was just being home when we tried to deliver them.) We had a difficult time getting past the servants who answer the bell; we tried to ask for the master or madame, but there was a language barrier. Eventually, the owners would appear. One lady who was also challenged with English, invited us in. We congratulated her on the end of Ramadan and she explained they still had one more day until Eid. We were puzzled, as it had been announced that the moon was sighted and Ramadan was over. We learned that not all clerics agree (imagine that!) and it depends on when your supreme leaders sees the moon. I can't imagine this state of limbo for the cooks: we might be having 60 people for dinner tomorrow, but it might not be until the next day!

This couple hosted us in their diwania with its brightly colored fabric covered benches that ran around the room in a U-shape. These are hard as nails to sit on but pretty to the eye. They insisted on giving us drinks, even though we refused since they were still fasting. In the middle of the room where a table was ornately dressed, was a finely decorated tissue box with matching trash can? I think so, this is how they get rid of the date seeds; spit into tissue & dispose. I must admit, Robert & I are getting quite hooked on these sweet, carmelly dates...I used to think they were too much trouble to eat, but not anymore! The husband had studied for his doctorate degree in Jordan; it is easy to start conversation with such questions because they tend to have photographs that reflect their importance in plain view. We could tell quite a difference in him from men who have studied in the West. Another neighbor travels often to London and had the air of comfort with Westerners that others lack.

Since Emily had to complete her summer projects for her honors & AP classes, we needed to keep close to home and give her plenty of time for the books. She took very few hours away from her studies and at times we had to enforce a break. We planned a sleepover for 7 girls that turned out to be a lot of fun. They scrambled all the way up to the top roof one evening and got great photos of our neighborhood at dusk. The singing, and laughter of the girls was a joy to hear again. Even though Emily loves her new friends, it was bitter sweet because it made her miss her old ones who spent so many fun hours in our home in London. We added a Karaoke game to our "teen toys" and it has given many hilarious hours of choral entertainment! With Molly here to organized everything from activities to sleeping arrangements; it makes light work of parties. We were able to do a "kid swap" with Ethan and he enjoyed time away at one of the girls brother's house.

Since I last wrote, the girls joined me for a Friday morning service at the Philippine Embassy. They helped to entertain the children while the mothers worshiped and had fellowship. I was there to observe and see where I can best contribute but it was great to begin to connect with some of the ladies. One young woman was crying and in pain due to some skin lightening creme that her employer had told her to use prior to running away. (While we are lying in the sun to get darker, women here are buying cremes to whiten their skin!) She had an allergic reaction and was terribly swollen and inflamed. We took her aside to discuss this condition, then I prayed with her and have her a hug. She melted into my arms like a child and I just held her, knowing her pain went much deeper than her skin. She actually had two children of her own "back home" and was no doubt grieving that while she had sacrificed to come here, it had turned ugly and now she was stuck, waiting to be returned to her family.

During the morning, these volunteers from the Lighthouse Church provide snacks, prayer, worship, teaching, and give toiletry items and clothes to whoever needs them most. One of the volunteers was, herself, a maid but worked for a Christian family who gives her time off. In her free time, she helps here, and is earning a degree in Christian Ministry from the Lighthouse College, so she can be ready to serve when she returns home! Anna was a beautiful little angel who fluttered around tending to the needs of her sisters.

Before leaving, we were privileged to meet the Philippine Labor Attache who is responsible for this place of refuge. He gave me his cell phone number and we agreed to talk further about how I could help. The pastor at our church also encouraged me to "pray broadly" as there is a similar need at the Ethiopian Embassy but it is less accessible.

Robert & I had a very fun excursion with our Canadian friends, Harvey & Becky over the break. Their son was spending time with Ethan, and the girls were busy, so we took off in the direction of Iraq. (Relax Dad, we were still 40 miles away!) We've been here over a month and had not yet seen camels, so that had to be remedied! We drove out the "Highway of Death" where retreating Iraqi forces were bombed by the Americans during the Gulf War. We wanted to see Mutla Ridge which is the highest point in Kuwait and the place where the Iraqis had established artillery forces. It is just a rocky outcropping but since everything else here is so flat, it provides a contrast. We were not the only ones to think this; the area was dotted with young men with ATVs zipping around on the sandy hills.

In a moment of youthful zest, Robert drove "off road" in 4-wheel drive to get closer to the site.

Even in our daring mode, we only drove where there were clearly many tire prints in the sand. We wanted to avoid unexploded devices if possible! The sand slopes were so inviting, we thought we would check them out "for our kids." The sun shield turned out not to be as "fast" in the sand as hoped, and our clever kids spotted our fraud at once! Never mind, we had a blast with friends who can converse deeply, or romp like kids in the sand with us...what a gift! While driving, we came across some camel herds and tents which we could only guess about their use. We were so excited, but decided not to drive any closer in case their herders were unfriendly. As a bonus, we passed a pile of camel bones (what else could they be??) and came home with some wonderful souvenirs.

I wish I could crack the code on how to embed my photos in my blog with headers; I'm open to suggestions!

The Runaway Maids

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Humanity degraded - maid lives to tell ‘chilling’ stay in hell-hole

Kuwait City : A Filipina household helper who was allegedly severely beaten and then thrown out from a third floor window by her Arab employers survived to tell her harrowing tale.
25-year-old Christina (last name withheld on her request) said she underwent operation to correct her broken spine and leg at Al Razi hospital last July 20 where she was brought after the incident.
According to Christina, she ran away from her employers’ home due to physical maltreatment and being denied food, so she sought refuge at her agency’s office in Hawally which then reportedly called her employers who immediately came to fetch her.
Despite her protestations against going back, she said she was forcibly dragged by her employers with the help of an agency employee through a back entrance to avoid attracting attention, to their car and while inside, was continuously beaten and kicked.
“On our arrival at my employers’ home, I was kicked and punched all over my body and later taken to a room and told to stop crying or they will throw me out of the window. But because of the excruciating pain I felt from the beating, I couldn’t help crying, so they came back into the room, opened the window and dragged me towards it. I cried and begged them not to and clung to my employer’s legs but they kicked me repeatedly on my face until I was groggy and half conscious and then found myself falling and hitting the ground hard,” Christina sobbingly recalled her
ordeal.
She said she learned her employers she called for an ambulance which then took her to Al Razi Orthopedic hospital where she underwent emergency surgery for a broken spine and a broken leg. 
A concerned compatriot, a nurse, at Al Razi hospital reportedly called the Philippine Embassy to alert them about her case and shortly thereafter, a representative from the embassy came to check on her.
She was discharged from the hospital three days ago and is now being looked after at the Filipino Workers Resource Center or FWRC of the Philippine Overseas Labor Office at the Philippine Embassy.
Screaming and crying in pain even at the slightest movement, she struggled to utter a few words asking H.E. Ambassador Ricardo M. Endaya to seek justice for her and make her employers and the agency answer in court for leaving her maimed, possibly for life.
According to knowledgeable sources, the employers are refusing to cooperate, ignoring summons from the Philippine Embassy to appear and shed light on the matter. Ambassador Endaya also has reportedly called the agency’s representative and the owner to explain their side in allegedly forcing the victim to return to her employers despite knowledge that she was being maltreated.
The Philippine Embassy has retained the services of top caliber Kuwaiti lawyers to handle Christina’s case.
Ambassador Endaya held an emergency meeting Sunday with embassy and POLO staff to discuss cases of abused workers and to remind them of their responsibility as diplomats whose main concern should be the protection of Filipino nationals
Meanwhile, another Filipina is reportedly recuperating at Al Razi hospital for injuries caused by a falling sofa thrown by persons unknown, from atop a building in Bneid Al Gar. She has reportedly been recently transferred to a ward from the Intensive Care Unit. 
Investigations are going on to identify the person or persons responsible.
By Boie Conrad Dublin
Arab Times Staff

September 17, 2009

On Tuesday evening, I met Christina when I joined a team of doctors, nurses, & ministers from the Lighthouse Church at the Overseas Labor Office/Philippine Embassy.  After pursuing this opportunity for several weeks, I was invited to join the group for the monthly clinic they offer the runaway housemaids who are being temporarily housed in a villa beside the Embassy.

I believe I have found my place here; I felt so drawn to these beautiful girls & ladies who have suffered so much pain and injustice.  I am investigating how I can go on a weekly basis with 2-3 others who share my vision.  Currently, there is a weekly church service on Friday mornings which the girls & I will attend tomorrow. The door has been flung open wide due to a Christian Labor Attaché who now has this post.  There are similar situations at other Asian Embassies but the "entrance" is well guarded.

When I arrived to the basement room, it was filled with Muslim ladies all breaking their fast, seated in a circle on the floor.  I was pleased to see such a nice meal being served to them from styrofoam containers, but learned the food was only for the Muslims who had been fasting and the non-Muslims could have the leftovers, if there were any. This was part of the charity provided during Ramadan.

Soon, these ladies disappeared and the room filled with mostly uncovered women who formed a line to receive their "check-up."  As the team arrived, seats were set up and we learned there would be a time of worship first.  I chatted with the women who were very warm and open.  I held one little boy who clung to me like I was his mother.  He kept bringing his face around in front of my face and staring into my eyes, then put his lips near my cheek. He refused to go to anyone who tried to take him from me.  I never did figure out who his mother was. There are now 7 children living in these cramped quarters with the women.  Four or Five more maids come daily and a few get their legal papers processed and are allowed to leave the country each day, but several of them have more complicated issues and have been stuck there for months or even years.  There is no schooling for the kids while there, no play room, very limited resources.

As they were preparing to worship, the leader started talking to the ladies.  The first thing I heard her say was something like "You have to choose and there are only 2 options.  Do you want to go to heaven and be with Jesus, or do you want eternal damnation in the Lake of Fire?"  I thought this was a pretty abrupt, direct approach! Still women kept squeezing in.  While they were singing, a girl who looked about 17 entered on crutches.  She was beaming with joy. We hugged, and I learned this was Christina who had been told she was paralyzed and could never walk again.  Pastor Martin explained that she accepted Christ a few weeks ago, and at the last healing service, God did a miracle in her life and she is now back on her feet!!!  I had read the above article and seen her photo in the Arab Times paper one month ago.  I was so struck by the article, I cut it out and had it on my dresser all this time.  Isn't God amazing?

     From Isaiah 57: "I live in the high and holy places, but also with the low spirited, the spirit- crushed.  And what I do is put new spirit in them, get them up and on their feet again."

I had to leave before I ever got to use my stethoscope; I had another function to attend.  I can't wait to get back.  My dear friend, Becky, shares the heart I have for these ladies and we are brainstorming about how we could best serve them while they wait and heal.  Pray I will "get in step with God and all others by letting him set the pace, not by proudly or anxiously trying to run the parade." (Romans 3:27)

Here is my attempt to express my sentiment:

My heart is pregnant with anticipation.

A cloud, seeded with this dream

rained on my spirit many moons ago.

The tears of God began to wet my soul.

I felt his grief for victims of injustice:

especially for women without power 

to break the chains that bind,

who suffer from mistaken identity

and think they are the sum of

crimes done to them, through them.

I longed to tell them who their Father is

and what he thinks of them.

If they could see their beauty as does he,

their worth; so precious and so rare...

perhaps the healing could begin

as light wins out and forces dark to flee.

But doors were locked and bolted shut 

as if no needs behind them hid.

"Why God, when none wants what I have to offer

would you plant this desire inside my breast?"

In time, you brought us here 

where broken housemaids flee in fear

unpaid, abused, and overworked without concern.

You see, you care, you plot 

through Christians with messy methods

but a common love of you.

The door propped open wide, bids me leap

to find your face among the lost...

I knew I'd find you here

your power on display

repairing ruins, you make all things new.

Alas, in this most humble place

I worship you!

Rug Shopping

September 13, 2009

Rug Shopping

Thursday evening Robert & I sent the kids off on a Catamaran with the church youth group for a weekend retreat at Failaka Island, 20km off shore. We had not actually met the youth pastor yet so it was an act of faith, but Robert's boss was chaparoning with his daughter and the kids all knew at least one person.

We stopped for a malt at Johnny Rockets before heading downtown to the old Souks; this is the part of Old Kuwait that still has not been modernized. Very few women can be seen here, and after evening prayers men cluster by the hundreds on the pavements & entry ways of the shops. I wanted Robert to meet Hussein, the Afgani rug dealer who has a great rapport and business with all the expats. I'd seen a rug in his shop which really caught my eye although I've never cared a thing for Persian Rugs, so I returned with Robert who enjoyed Hussein every bit as much as I had. This articulate, English speaking gentleman is a Shia Muslim and very devout in his faith. As he told us fascinating stories about the rugs, how they are made, the places in Iran, Iraq, & Afganistan where they come from; his love for God was evident. He described the symbolism in the weavings which often referred to the nature of Alah, mans longings for Him, the blessedness of being able to talk to the Creator of the universe in prayer, etc. It was also obvious in the ehthical way he deals with his customers and his competitors that he is goverened by a very moral code of conduct. He said "how could I pray 5 times a day and not treat people fairly?" He explained how to compare quality in rugs the way the dealers do, information no other shopkeeper ever offers. His knowlege was so personal as he knows and deals directly with the villagers who weave his beautiful rugs. Unfortunately, I have expensive taste and was only fond of the ones with high silk content which are the most expensive. The rug I really liked was around 20 years old but was rare in it's design. We pondered the value of such an investement but were not that serious about buying. Hussain put the rug in a bag and told us to take it home, try it out for a couple of weeks and see if we thought it was right for us. He assured us it would be better for him if we brought it back, he had given me a very low price and he knew it would bring more, so I should not worry at all if we decided not to keep it. With that, we left his shop with this 1,400 dollar rug and all he knew about us was our first names! Not even a phone number, not a penny downpayment. We were incredibly impressed with the business dealings of Hussein!

We enjoyed a quiet weekend of shopping, dining & resting on the rooftop in our swimsuits! On Saturday evening, we met the new pastor & his wife from Canada for dinner at the Lebanese place we love. This couple's son was also on retreat so we had a lovely evening together. They were so much fun and come with a wealth of experience from ministering in many Asian countries. They had not yet been to the Souks, so we took them back to stroll the marketplace, chat with shopkeepers, sample different dates, and enjoy the sounds & aromas of the city on a holy Friday.

Around 10pm, Molly called us and informed us that Ethan was ill on the island and there were no boats until the next evening...Not the kind of call a mom likes to get! He'd spiked a temperature of 104, had the chills, and a sore & swollen throat. He'd been to the "doctor" on the island who could only offer him tylenol. He was miserable and had been moved into Emily's room so she could take care of him. I immediately thought of how he got strep throat on Christmas Eve in Johannesburg, South Africa, and suspected it was another such episode. However, in the back of all our minds was the possibility of the H1N1 virus which has continued to flood our news with widespread fears and increasing numbers of cases. (Warning Banners, such as seen above are everywhere; we esp. like the "no kissing" part!)

The Col. in charge took excellent care of Ethan through the night with frequent meds and his temp did come down. They were able to keep him reasonably comfortable with a back up plan of a Coast Guard medical evacuation if it became necessary. Fortunately, the girls still managed to have a blast with their new friends, and a daring spirit of adventure! Molly will likely blog of their explorations. The quality of all the talks was reported to be exceptional and we look forward to seeing a growing relationship with the teens from The Lighthouse Church and their awesome youth ministers.

We collected a hot and miserable Ethan & two still damp girls from the boat. We got Ethan to the Royal Hyatt hospital right away while it was still time for Iftar; sure enough, no one was in emergency during the time of breaking fast...not even the doctor! We were out within the hour with an assurance that it was NOT Swine Flu and a prescription for antibiotic for the likely strep throat. This is the hospital described as "the worlds first luxury hospital" and truly it is an experience. The funny thing, was that after such a classy experience, at 7pm, not one pharmacy was open to get the drugs. Robert went out in search of one after 8:30 when they opened back up and it took him and hour and a half and 3 different pharmacies before he found Co-Amoxacillin in the proper dose.

This really is a land of contradictions. Another one is the luxurious resorts built along the Gulf which have had to close their beaches due to a failure at a sewage plant. This is the latest scandal where various ministers have been getting blamed for the leak which caused sewage to contaminate the water along the beaches...we won't be swimming for awhile we think! Guess we will just have to do more rug shopping!

My Happy Birthday

     So what's not to love about 49?  I used to dread the onset of 50, fearing that the best years would be seen only in my rear view mirror by then, but I'm thinkin' that was just ignorance!  I've never enjoyed my walk with God more; I sometimes get misty eyed just thinking about Him.  I have a best friend for a husband who still pretends I'm perfect and treats me like a queen.  My kids are well on their way to independence and are quite likable. And, I see no shortage of challenges and new adventures on the horizon to keep me growing!

     

     I enjoyed a fantastic Birthday Cake by Molly, even though it was tricky for her to make without all her usual ingredients.  Robert offered to take me to the Radison Hotel for  dinner but it was super expensive and a school night for the kids, so I opted for carry out Lebanese which we all love.  We went back to this nearby diner like place and the Arab there remembered Robert; he was so happy he came back, he sat us down & gave us tea while we waited, patted Robert on the arm (better than a kiss,) and carried our bags to the car when it was ready.  My birthday surprise is that I'm getting an i pod Touch!  It does EVERYTHING except for being a phone which is provided free to me here anyway.  I can't believe it.  The kids even volunteered to teach me how to use it:)

     I used to wish for a clean van on my birthday; it was a treat to get it all detailed when we were in London.  I just learned that our car is getting washed twice a day here!!!  Robert says the gardener washes it early in the mornings, and we just discovered our neighbors "Harris" is washing it late at night...what a problem!  Funny thing is, I was told by my friend that for Force Protection, it is best to NOT have a clean car so you can see if there are fingerprints in the dust & know if your car has been tampered with!  I'm hopeless; I can even remember to check the car for intruders every time I get in like I'm supposed to.  I can't remember to notice if we're being followed.  I can't remember to NOT look at people in the cars around us...God, his angels, and the guards who sit an monitor our house will have to be extra vigilant!

     We are completing the first full week of school (except shorter Ramadan days) and I think I can breath again! Most of our concerns about academics & social challenges at least so far, have been unfounded.  Emily is finding kids to be pleasant and bright in the classes she has chosen.  The work is challenging for her in most classes except chemistry where it is "dead easy."  Ethan loves his algebra but does find English to be not so stimulating; I'm hoping it will pick up.  He does not have much homework at all but since he has "Oliver" practice most nights, and Boy Scouts is starting soon, that is just as well.  He worked on the fight scene yesterday where he is learning to make it look like he is pelting the kid while it is all stage tricks...he loves it!  This weekend, all three kids are off to Falaka Island for the annaul Youth Retreat with church; I so hope this will be spiritually and socially nurturing for all of them.

     The team from  housing arrived this week to hang all our pictures, mirrors, ironing rack, etc.  It feels so much nicer with our personal touches everywhere since none of the furniture is ours.  They worked non stop for 5 hours and took great pains to measure and level everything; they even hung all Ethan's weapons in a handsome arrangement he designed.  Most of them were Pakistani Muslims and were so kind and pleasant to work with.  They always bring their own sweeper and clean up any dust or mess they make.  This is THE WAY to decorate a house!

    Last night, Robert & I had reservations at the AWARE (Arab & Western Relations & Exchange) Center for a Ramadan lecture and Iftar (breaking the fast meal.)  This was an impressive bit of...Robert called it "propaganda."  The most interesting thing was that the host and speaker were both American women who had converted to Islam & now live here.  One was a lovely lady from Indiana who married a Kuwaiti, & now works to promote good relations between countries.  The speaker was a lady with a doctorate in education who teaches at a University here but spoke about the spiritual benefits of Ramadan.  The place was packed with expats new to the country; mostly teachers who've just arrived for the new school year.  The information was really basic but it was presented in such a positive light, you would never think anyone got ill or cranky from fasting all day in the heat.  She said "you must wonder why everyone is so happy about fasting, well I will answer that for you..." actually, we had not noticed that!  I wanted to know how to advise our children who say that the Muslim kids are hungry at school and want bits of the lunches American kids bring to school & eat in hiding...she found that almost impossible because "no one forces their children to fast, it is always voluntary!"  This does not reflect the reality my kids are living.  She also mentioned how restful it is during Ramadan days when there is not the usual need to be cooking and preparing meals....Yes, but what about the dear house maids who are working longer hours than ever?? What about the ones who must work all day, catch a nap after 9 pm, then get up at midnight to fix the pre-dawn meal.  I found this troubling but didn't want to be a trouble maker!  After a couple of questions that she found "hard" the other lady stepped in to inject a question that was not so probing:  what do Muslims in Alaska do when the sun does not set? They follow the schedule of Washington state.  When she spoke of fasting as an act of worship and a spiritual discipline, this I could relate to and find admirable in those who do it with this motive.  What was sad to me was when she explained how they are filled with "hope" at the end of Ramadan...not hope as we understand to be linked with faith and certainty about what we do not see: they are full of hope that their fast was accepted, and that their efforts were good enough.  Oh, how I wish I could somehow communicate about GRACE!!!

     I don't want to be critical, she made many good points about how much Islam shares in common with Judaism & Christianity and it is very helpful to see how they view Muhammad to be the final prophet to complete what other "prophets" began.  I just struggle with the fact that while it is supposed to be about "cultural exchange" when I asked her in private if there was also an interest from the Kuwaitis to understand our traditions such as how we celebrate Easter or Christmas, I was met with a blank look.

     As usual, the hospitality was superb.  The catered meal was a huge spread of delicious meats, salads, desserts, exotic fruit drinks and it was all free.

Girgaen

Left: Cheryl getting

treats from my friend

Kefaya

Right: A little guy who

came to the door

with his maid

Below: Ethan with the

neighborhood boys

going door-to-door

September 4, 2009

Girgaen like many Arabic words can be spelled several ways...this is so confusing to the "outsider" like myself. For Emily, it's a perfect world: finally, spelling doesn't count!

Ali said he would call for Ethan at 8:00 to go trolling for candy as is the custom during Ramadan in the Gulf States...by 9:30 he made his appearance. Ethan looked quite dapper in Ali's old distasha & cap even if they were a bit small!

First, the boys gave Ethan a quick Arabic singing lesson to try and teach Ethan the blessing song that is sung at the door. Ethan was a quick learner and could lip sync the tricky parts. Ali only went to some doors ("that boy fights with me") and skipped others. The kids acted like they owned the streets and in just a handfull of houses, their sacks were heavy with sweets. The voices of some of the children who came to our door sounded like angels. We only had groups of boys or groups of girls; never mixed.

I am still learning how far this segregation theme really goes. Today we were privileged to have an American gal over for lunch after church who teaches at the American University of Kuwait. Amy told us the university classes must be segregated, making it very difficult for students to get the courses they need when there are not enough teachers to offer the same class for both men and women during the same semester.

Robert was invited to represent his section tonight at a traditional Iftar held by some of the Ruling Family Princes. No, I didn't get to go: it was for MEN ONLY. I'm told that the women gather in hotels: they enter in their abayahs & veils, once they are sealed off from men, they rip them off and party in their lovely clothes.

Robert was the only Western dressed man at the Iftar; everyone else was robed. After a few minutes of conversation, the men excused themselves to go to Mosque for prayers and were back in about 7 minutes. First they had dates and water, then proceded to the meal of roasted lamb which the elder men tore off & ate with their hands. Robert thouroughly enjoyed the conversations of these highly educated men; they discussed everything from politics to engineering and the topics circled the globe. He sat by an attorney who graduated from Boston University. Much of these intellectuals would like to see modernization of the country, but the Bedouin population still holds very conservative and traditional views and they resist this change, as do the older, less educated population. I'm sure that is an over simplification of very complex issues, but such is my early understanding.

We went back to the NECK today; this is the church that is a collection of evangelic congreations in many languages & worhsip styes, all on the same campus. En route to the English service, we wove through an Indian congreation gathered for a baptism, passed a doorway where dozens of shoes paved the entrance, saw more black worshippers than I'd seen anywhere here, and finally got to our congregation of Chinesse, Indian, Anglos, and blacks...just think: I was related to them ALL!!! I was so encouraged: this was by far the best service yet. It was a triple hitter; great music, worship leader, and a new pastor who delivered a strong & engaging sermon.

Molly stayed home today as she was recovering from oral surgery done yesterday which proved more painful than it was billed. This was the first time any of us have been home on a Friday when the Imams preach and it was an angry sounding chorus when they all began broadcasting...I didn't realize they all preached over the loud speakers on Fridays.

Emily is all stressed out over the amount of school work she has to do and how much she has forgotten over the summer. She spent most of the day studying. Ethan spent the day checking the drama section's Facebook page until finally at 7pm, they posted the cast selections for the school play: Ethan was chosen to be Oliver in the production of "Oliver!" He is OVER THE MOON excited and has been dancing through the house singing "Food, Glorious Food" and "I'd do Anything For You." We will hear a lot of these songs over the next few weeks I fear:) He begins practicing tomorrow, 1-4.

It is 11:30 and kids are still coming to our door. The last group was 6 teenage girls (a dad was near by) who obviously knew we were American; they said "trick or treat" when we opened the door! We made them sing the Kuwaiti National Anthem. They were very chatty and only one had a headscarf on. Perhaps I should turn out the lights and put out a sign: The Americans Have Gone To Bed: Happy Ramadan!

Health Care

September 2, 2009



Today Molly & I got a glimpse of public health care when we visited Mubarak Al-Kabeer Hospital with a team from the Public Relations Department at the Embassy. This was another study in contrasts when compared to the private hospital Royal Hyatt (where Emily saw her doctor) which was much more like the Hyatt Hotels than a medical building. Everything was very clean but old and rather drab. Westerners were few and far between so we made a bit of an entrance carrying our "US Embassy" tote bags with books for children. Women visiters and staff were nearly all wearing some degree of covering; many wore the full abayah, scarf and veil which looked incredible underneath a labcoat.



The Medical Director welcomed us into his office and shared about the pediatric department which was his specialty. He explained how the country does not yet have child protection laws like in the US and child abuse is a big problem. He also described the circumstances of 3 very young children the hospital became home to when they were left in the parking lot or brought by police when found unattended by parents. Because of the adoption laws, it is a long legal process and there is no Foster care, so these children remain on the ward. I appreciated his honesty, his desire for change, and his obvious compassion for these children.



We were finally ushered into a playroom by a Social Worker where some small children were sitting with their mothers. Medical students and nurses brought in more children; some of whom were happy to sit for a story, others quite fearful of us. Molly & I played on the floor, read when we could, instigated peek-a-boo with the tote bags, etc. I think even the school age girls who came in were quite limited in their English skills, the 10 year old I sat with smiled, answered "yes" to every question and said very little. There were not many toys in the playroom; I was told one of the staff suggested this was because the children make such a mess when they bring out the toys! I was thinking we should get everyone up and dancing to the Hokey Pokey or something, but I tried to go with the flow:)



One really sweet Medical Student asked the Chief if I could join them for rounds on the ward and they consented. I hung with them while two new patients were presented; one with respiratory infection and interestingly enough, one with Sickle Cell Anemia. They spoke in English, not sure if that was for my benefit or not. The students presented everything including lab data from memory & the lead doctor was very layed back and patient as he quizzed and taught his students. It was not at all unlike rounds in one of our teaching hospitals if I looked beyond the cosmetics. However, I can see that there would be many cultural barriers to trying to work in a place like this, even if it were possible.



This afternoon I went to see Kefaya and she explained more about the health care here. The public hospitals are FREE to Kuwaitis, and the cost is subsidised for all other nationalities living here; non Kuwaitis must pay something like a co-pay each visit. Many Kuwaitis now are using the private hospitals for which they must pay the full price out of pocket. Kefaya understands that with all the government benefits to Kuwaitis, many people take it for granted and waste it all. Education through university is also free and dependants are even given monthy "pocket money" from the government.



I wanted to get the scoop from Kefaya on "Girgian" happening this week and what is expected. She had the maid go and gather up all the appropriate bits (including the white pants worn underneath) for Ethan to wear when he goes out with Ali. We determined I would accompany their maid when she supervises the group of neighborhood boys on their wanderings. I am thrilled to spend time with Venge; she is a Christian and I am cautiously hoping to build a friendship with her as well as her Madame without making any waves. Tonight Venge brought over a pot of her fresh made lentil soup which was delicious. This was our first course, then I stretched out on the bed only wake at 7 in a daze, wondering what I would make for dinner. My dear husband had already left to get carry-out from a Lebanese restuarant so I could have break. We had scrumtuous chicken tikka, hummous & tabouleah while hearing tales of another school day; Emily meeting 3 of the Ruling family princesses at school, and Ethan being chased by girls competing for his attention!

No Gentlemen Allowed

Emily & Ethan at American School of Kuwait (ASK)

not yet in uniform

September 1, 2009

First, thanks for all the comments on email & on the blog! It felt a lot less like I was talking to myself:)

Tuesday was "Back To School" day for Emily & Ethan & after all the build-up, it was such a relief to have it come & go without too much drama. The Ramadan schedule means they don't start school till 9:00 compared to the usual 7:15. They were ready on time, but at the last minute, Ethan felt the need to change his socks, so in his typical fashion, he ran out the door at 8:15 carrying his new black school shoes under his arms. The bus was full of students, a few protective parents, driver, guard, and following close behind it was the Embassy suburban which provided extra security. The windows are all covered with curtains like an old hippie van and there was nothing to suggest it was full of American school children.

I thought I would get more housework done but an invite from a friend to go shopping was accepted and we spent the morning at ACE Hardware and True Value! These stores here have everything from shoes to bed sheets and school supplies, so we were very efficient with our time. Emily's insulated lunchbox was one of those items I "just knew" I'd packed, but must have gone instead to storage...now her PBJ won't melt!

Back by one o'clock, I was here to meet the housing crew who was bringing us additional furniture we had requested (another refrigerator, chest, closet, desk, etc.) As usual, a team of around six Indian men arrived to heft our furniture into place, replace our DVD player, and complete my "laundry list" of small maintenance issues. I think if wanted a fire pole from from the top floor to the ground they would say "Yes mam, you buy, we will install! They are always very sweet and at least one of them speaks very good English. If they see me lifting something, anything, while they are here it's "here Madame, let me get that."

Robert dropped in for lunch and was driving a "new" car. He was called and told to return the other one (the one with the "bullet" hole) and pick up a different one. It is still an 8 seater Tahoe, just a different color. All a part of "Force Protection" we are learning. He also brought home a 5 kilogram bag of Arabic candies and nuts which his Kuwaiti General gave to him to pass out to children during the Mid Ramadan Festival of Girgian, which means "candy." From what I can learn, this is a more regional tradition specific to the Gulf area and goes on for 3 nights when neighborhood children dress up in traditional clothes and go door to door for treats, just like on Halloween. I had purchased 4 bags of Tootsie Roll Pops but now we will be ready for hoards of kids should they arrive!

Emily & Ethan came off the bus red as beets & ready to be watered and fed. Emily & the other girls had been warned before going into school in the morning about the Kuwaiti boys and cautioned to ignore their advances or comments. When the clutch of girls passed by their first group of boys, I'm surprised they didn't kick them in the shins, just for good measure! Fortunately, they didn't because there were NO issues at all and Emily does not expect any. Reality sometimes conforms to our expectations so I'm glad Emily also expects cordial and non problematic relationships with all.

Both kids have 1-2 classes with friends. Because both of them are in some advanced classes, they feel quite "young." Emily said she has never felt "so different, so little, so out of place." Non Middle Easterners are definitely in the minority. However, most teachers are American or Canadian and there are some gems among them. One of Emily's teachers she has for 2 classes was pretty scary and threatening with all her talk of rules, responsibilities and consequences...from past experience, she will probably end up being Emily's favorite! The work load for 2 honors classes, 1 AP class, chemistry and pre-calc is expected to be pretty heavy for Emily. Since Ethan tested into Algebra, he will also have to work fairly hard. They found passing up and down outside stairs on 3 levels to get to classes rather exhausting. Crazy thing is that on the second day of school they have to start sports and extra curricular activities. Emily has swim tryouts and Ethan will audition for the High School play since they need MS boys for Oliver. For all who are praying for a smooth transition for these two....THANK YOU!!

After dinner, Robert took me to my haircut appointment as I cannot drive his Govt. car. The "saloon" was in an apartment building that looked like a place I would not go alone at night. However, as we reached the saloon, I remembered: No Men Allowed! There was a kitchen chair in the hallway outside the door where he could sit, but he was not permitted to enter the nicely furnished, air conditioned lounge and wait :( Because spa/saloons are a place where women "un-cover" they are off limits to men. He was quite happy to go hunt for a grocery instead and top us up on milk & eggs.

The hairdressers were warm & friendly, mostly Filipino ladies & I was escorted right in. It was not busy, but stayed open till 11 pm like everywhere. My stylist has done hair in Kuwait for 15 years and is now supporting her grandchildren back home. I am always amazed at how they seem to give up their own lives in order to make money for the rest of their family. When asked if she likes it here: "no." It is unanimous with every TKN I have spoken to! I inquired if it was difficult to be away from loved ones and she explained that her role was "provider" and there were others who did the nurturing; grandparents, aunts, etc. I can't imagine compartmentalizing parenting like this, what a sacrifice.

I was quite pleased with my haircut, it was better than the last cut I got in the states! (More expensive too at over $30.00 w/ tip) When I was paying, the lady was trying to sell me on other spa summer specials; one of the packages included "Sheera" and I asked what that was. "Total body waxing" she told me. I guess I looked a bit squeamish & said "no thank you." She said "for you, we make another treatment." I knew it had to do with Islamic practice for women & here is what I learned:

First of all, removing unwanted hair from the body is an act of fitrah. Referring to this, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said “The fitrah is five things: circumcision, trimming the mustache, cutting the nails, plucking the armpit hairs, and shaving the pubic hairs”(Al-Bukhari and Muslim).

With that final tidbit of cultural education, I must go see my neighbor about a costume for Ethan for Girgean!